Mar 19, 2014

For my first blog post, I have chosen to share a personal story on leadership, legacy and family. My family and I recently attended the 70th birthday celebration of my wife’s auntie, Auntie Marg. I first met Marg at a family barbecue in 1986 when I was 24 and she was 46. I also met Marg’s husband Bob and her three teenage children. Being new to Kay’s (my girlfriend then and now my beautiful wife) extended family, all seemed well with Marg and her family; their future looked bright. Marg was a country bush nurse, Bob was a handy tradesperson, and their three children were all up and about. I was sadly mistaken. Four years later, Marg lost Bob and her first son Craig in tragic circumstances. Through it all, Marg somehow managed to overcome this period of intense sadness. We stayed in touch as most families do, and whenever we talked, Marg would always reflect upon her losses, and the effect they had on her. Marg knew that she could not fall apart; she had a career as a bush nurse to fulfill, patients that relied upon her and most importantly, two teenage children that needed her now more than ever. Marg always believed things would turn around and that she and her family would once again find happiness again. How right she was. In 1992, at a chance social gathering, Marg met another Bob. A similar story, Bob had a young family and had tragically lost his wife to illness. After a period of friendship, Marg and Bob decided to join forces. They quickly, yet naturally developed a bond between themselves that few couples will ever get to experience. They married soon after and set about gluing their two wonderful families together. Now back to Marg’s 70th, after a delightful lunch (you can’t beat country cooking!), the speeches began. First up was one of Bob’s grandkids. This young lady spoke about how Marg is always there for all of the grandkids and that Marg is always patient, always positive. Most importantly, Marg always made her feel special by listening to her without judging her, by encouraging her without blaming her, and by supporting her with words of encouragement, big hugs and lots of kisses. The eyes in the room were starting to tear-up. Next up was Marg’s daughter Narelle, and the emotions in the room were about to go up another notch. Narelle spoke of her mum’s never ending support, her mum’s reliability, her consistency and above all her mum’s character, which she described as “ever-loving, ever-trusting, and ever-true.” Narelle’s reflections tipped me over my emotional edge. I was thankful I was sitting in the back because I was a mess. I used my empty bowl once filled with pavlova to catch my tears. The final speaker was Marg’s youngest sister Jan, my wife’s mother. Well Jan broke all the rules as she started off in tears. Jan talked about how Marg had dealt so well with major adversity and how Marg rebounds so quickly from the other setbacks she has endured during her life; so many setbacks that Jan has decided to ‘clone’ herself by becoming a mini-Marg! Jan’s piece concluded the speeches and Marg went off to spend time with her guests. I had a number of questions to ask Marg, but I knew her time was precious, so I kept it to three. I spotted Marg sitting with a couple who looked well into their twilight years; both parties were laughing and joking about their ‘better years’. I approached Marg and asked her for a moment of her time, and true to form, Marg obliged.

“Marg, what a terrific celebration, thank you for inviting us. I have three questions for you, do you hold a qualification in management or leadership?” Marg responded, “No, Stan.” “Do you have or have you had a mentor that has helped you navigate through your life?” “No, Stan.” “Well, in that case Marg, how do you explain how you have managed to create such an incredible legacy?” “That’s an easy question to answer Stan; I always lead from my heart”

And with that, she gave me a peck on my cheek and re-joined her friends. We drove home that night, and I kept thinking about Marg’s response to my final question, “I always lead from my heart.” I came to the conclusion that sometimes, great leaders don’t even know that they are leading; they simply live a life based on what their heart tells them to do, act and say. If their heart is like Marg’s, full of goodness, hope and love, then only goodness, hope and love and will flow out of it. Marg’s legacy lives in the hearts of many, many people, especially mine. So there you go, a short personal story that I hope has enlightened you, inspired you and motivated you. If you aspire to be a leader, just like Marg, New Horizons’ range of Management & Leadership courses can help teach you the skills to get you on this path, but making sure you lead from the heart is all up to you!  Finally, one leadership book I thoroughly recommend is Leadership from the Inside Out by Kevin Cashman (ISBN: 1 -57675-599-1). It’s as good as it gets when it comes to demystifying this thing we call leadership.