Dec 06, 2013

Many times at New Horizons in the last seven and a half years of training people new to the role of a manager, I have received comments to the effect of “I wish my manager did some of this stuff” – probably at least one person each course. Generally, it’s about micro-management but sometimes it is about the boss who stifles any creativity because they know everything and is not willing to take on any suggestions from others or always has to show they know more. Flicking through some old study notes recently I came upon a piece about “The Knot” written in 1970 by Ronald (R.D.) Laing, a prominent psychiatrist of the day.

There is something I don’t know  that I am supposed to know. I don’t know what it is I don’t know, and yet I am supposed to know, And I feel I look stupid if I seem both not to know it And not know what it is I don’t know. Therefore, I pretend I know it. This is nerve-racking since I don’t know what I must pretend to know. Therefore, I pretend I know everything.

How many bosses are there out there not getting the best out of their troops for fear that they may be exposed to not have all the answers? When I first started working psychotherapeutically with people, I had a need to always appear like I knew more but truly only felt one step ahead of my clients. Later, when I realised the paradox that me having all the answers prohibited them being empowered through finding their own, I changed my approach. Amazingly, I felt more comfortable and they got better quicker: win-win, I’d say. Asking good questions was the key!