Mar 18, 2016

We so often see the topic of communication being discussed and dissected. Everyone has an opinion, and many agree that “no one ever communicates well”, and a host of other generalisations!

I’d like to focus on what helps to get it right.

Say what you mean, and mean what you say

There are 2 points I’d like to make:

Firstly, what I am referring to is that the body language, tone and the message should all be congruent. Say what you mean to say because it comes from a place of honesty, rather than being politically correct.

This helps with my second point, which is that if you are honest, you are likely consistent in your message, and in practical terms, this translates as one message to everyone, rather than different “versions” of the message, depending on whom you are talking to.

Think about your audience

It is worth noting that many great leaders are admired because they communicate in a way that make the individual feel acknowledged and valuable; they manage to do this even when they are addressing large audiences.

How do they achieve this?

They really, genuinely put themselves in the shoes of their listener, and translate their message into something that is tangible and practical, for the individual. Using examples that people can relate to and showing individuals how they fit into the bigger picture, are the hallmarks of an effective communicator.

Attitude

When you care about the way you communicate, and realise that people may develop their perception of you based on what comes out of your mouth, it may be worth noting the following:

A sure-fire way of knocking a communication hurdle out of the way is to put your ego to one side. If you want engagement, rapport and respectful verbal interaction, then the ability to say “I’m sorry, I was mistaken” or “Oh, I didn’t think of it that way” is critical.

Secondly, using communication exchanges as an opportunity to build self-esteem in others, seems to create a good vibe. When trying to problem-solve, or offer ideas, or consider alternatives, crediting a member of the team is a positive way to encourage productive communication. Saying things like “Bob was just saying that he tried that method and has found it has reduced his expenses by 10%”, or, “Mary has reservations about approaching the problem in this way and I’d like us to hear some of her reasons”. Of course the manager knows a lot of this information, but “telling” them is never going to be as effective or as supportive, as acknowledging contributions from the group.

I encourage you to try these little hurdle-busters and reap the rewards.